What If I Don’t Like Who I Am?
Psalm 34:18, 2 Corinthians 5:17, John 10:10
Episode Summary
How many of us look in the mirror and struggle to like what we see?
Not just physically—but spiritually. Emotionally. Internally.
In this episode of The Wilderness Devotional, we sit in the uncomfortable reality that many of us spend our lives chasing a version of ourselves that doesn’t even exist. The false self. The idealized projection. The curated persona we show the world while hiding the mess underneath.
We look at a heartbreaking story of a man who was so desperate to become someone else, he physically altered his body to mimic a celebrity—eventually damaging himself in the process. But the truth is… a lot of us do the same thing. Just in quieter ways.
We fill ourselves with things that promise identity but deliver emptiness.
We break ourselves trying to become lovable.
We leak… because we’ve been patched up with the wrong things.
But Jesus?
Jesus rebuilds.
Jesus restores.
Jesus makes the broken beautiful again.
Going Deeper
There’s a line I read years ago that never left me:
“Hearts rebuilt from hope resurrect dreams killed by hate.”
— from The River of Winged Dreams
I think of that line every time I talk to someone who’s lost hope in who they are.
I’ve lost count of how many young people I’ve sat across from—eyes full of tears, voices cracking under the weight of shame—confessing that they just don’t like themselves.
They think they’re too much.
Or not enough.
They’ve messed up.
They’ve failed.
They’ve bought the lie that they’ll never be what God wants them to be.
And when I hear those words… it hits close to home.
Because I’ve believed those same lies.
I’ve looked at others and thought, If I could just be a little more like them…
I’ve scrolled social media and thought, Why can’t I talk like that? Look like that? Lead like that? Matter like that?
And in those moments, I forget the gospel.
I forget that Jesus didn’t die for the “ideal version” of me.
He died for me.
As I am. In all my mess.
And His work in my life isn’t cosmetic.
It’s not lip filler for the soul.
It’s resurrection.
“The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy;
but I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
— John 10:10
The enemy wants to destroy your dreams.
To take the things God whispered into your soul long ago—dreams to bless, serve, create, heal, restore—and crush them beneath the weight of shame.
But Jesus? He wants to breathe on them again.
He wants to rebuild your heart.
To pull out the lies.
To cut through the toxic patterns.
To do the deep, necessary, loving work of making you new.
And that’s not always a soft process.
Sometimes it feels like spiritual surgery.
Sometimes it means cutting deep.
Removing things we thought were essential.
Letting Him reach into the hidden places and reshape them with grace.
But the result?
“If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
— 2 Corinthians 5:17
You were never meant to stay a shelf-dwelling version of yourself.
You were made for something living.
Something real.
Something useful in the hands of God.
Even if you feel like a broken toy with dead batteries (yes, really)…
He sees more.
He can remake you into something better than before.
Something full of purpose.
Something full of life.
Devotional: A Prayer for the Broken Mirror
Jesus,
I don’t always like who I am.
I see my failures.
I feel the cracks.
I compare myself to everyone else,
And wonder why I even try.
But You…
You see something worth redeeming.
You see someone worth dying for.
You see more than the broken shell—I hide behind.
You see me. The real me. The one You made.
So I give You my false self.
The masks I wear.
The lies I believe.
The shame I carry.
I give You the dreams I buried…
Because I didn’t think they were worth anything anymore.
And I ask You to do what only You can do:
Rebuild.
Restore.
Resurrect.
Make me new.
Not more perfect. Not more impressive.
Just more whole.
You are the great physician.
The artist.
The Father.
And I am Yours.
Amen.
