A friend reached out to me on social media the other day with a heartfelt question: “How can I genuinely sympathize with friends who have walked away from Christ while still sharing the truth?”
It’s a question that strikes at the core of our faith.
We want to hold onto truth, but not at the expense of compassion. We want to love our friends well, even as they wrestle with doubt, hurt, and disillusionment.
It’s a delicate balance between sharing the message of Jesus with conviction and embodying His grace.
So how do we stay rooted in the gospel while reaching out in love?
It starts with listening.
Really listening.
Not just waiting for your turn to speak or rebut their arguments, but hearing their story.
Because behind every decision to walk away is a reason.
Hurt.
Disappointment.
Confusion.
Maybe they were burned by church politics or felt like God never showed up when they needed Him most.
Maybe they were weighed down by questions that nobody took the time to address or wrestle with.
Or maybe their beliefs shifted gradually over years, and they found themselves drifting further from faith.
Each story is different, but each one matters.
And in your listening, show love.
Even if the beliefs they hold now are at odds with your own, love them as Christ loved us.
Extend the grace that God extended to you.
That’s not compromising truth.
It’s embodying it.
Because truth isn’t a club to beat people over the head with.
It’s a light to illuminate dark places, to show the way home.
So after you’ve listened, share your own story.
Gently, humbly, honestly.
Tell them about the God who became flesh and moved into the neighborhood.
The Jesus who doesn’t shy away from our mess but walks with us through it.
The Savior who didn’t just preach truth but lived it, died for it, and rose again to offer it to everyone.
And trust that the same Spirit who moved your heart can stir theirs.
You may not see a change right away.
Sometimes, seeds take time to grow.
But in every word you speak and every act of love you show, let them see Christ.
Let them see the truth living in you.
And above all, pray for them.
That their hearts would be softened.
That the Spirit would bring healing and clarity.
That the God of all comfort would meet them where they are and draw them back to Himself.
And that you’d have the courage to keep sharing truth in love, no matter how long it takes.
Because when you look at the stories of the people Jesus reached, so many of them were those who found themselves as spiritual wanderers and outcasts.
Take Matthew.
A tax collector, working for the oppressive Roman government and pocketing a little extra on the side.
He’d long since turned his back on his heritage and community.
But Jesus invited him to follow and then went to his house for dinner.
Or think of the Samaritan woman at the well.
A woman with a string of broken relationships and a reputation that pushed her to draw water when no one else was around.
She worshiped on a different mountain and belonged to a people who didn’t exactly see eye to eye with Israel.
But Jesus offered her living water and revealed Himself as Messiah.
Or Zacchaeus, the chief tax collector who’d gotten rich exploiting others.
Or the lepers, outcast by their own people.
Or the adulteress, caught in the act and dragged before the crowd.
Each had a story.
Each had a reason to feel excluded, unworthy, or unwelcome.
But Jesus invited them in.
He saw beyond their past and their pain to what God could do through them.
And maybe that’s the point: nobody is beyond the reach of grace.
So even when it feels like your friends are a million miles away from faith, remember that Jesus specializes in finding the lost.
That no matter how far they’ve strayed, they can still come home.
Q&A: How to Sympathize with Ex-Christian Friends, While Still Speaking Truth? was originally published in GoodLion Theology on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
