This question was sent in by a student during a Q&A session with the Good Fight Youth Group:
“What are some things that anchor you to joy when you are unhappy?”
Great question.
And honestly, one that I’ve wrestled with more than a few times.
Because life isn’t always easy, is it?
There are days when the storm rolls in — when sadness, frustration, or even just numbness feel like they’re pulling you under.
So what do you hold onto when you’re drowning?
What anchors you to joy, even when happiness is nowhere to be found?
Here’s where I start:
I remind myself that joy and happiness are not the same thing.
Happiness is tied to your circumstances. When life is smooth sailing, happiness shows up. But when the waves rise, happiness is quick to jump ship.
Joy, though — joy is different.
Joy is rooted in something much deeper. It’s not about how you feel. It’s about what you know.
And here’s what I know:
God is good.
God is with me.
And God is working all things — even this thing — together for my good (Romans 8:28).
That truth doesn’t make the storm disappear. But it does give me something to hold onto. Something steady. Something unshakable.
So, what anchors me to joy when I’m unhappy?
Here are a few things:
1. Gratitude
It’s simple, but it works.
When I’m unhappy, I start looking for the good. Not in a fake, “everything’s fine” kind of way, but in an intentional way.
I grab a journal or just sit quietly and ask myself: What can I thank God for right now?
It might be something big — like His faithfulness in my life. Or something small — like the sound of rain on the roof or a good cup of coffee.
And as I name those things, something shifts. My focus moves from what’s wrong to what’s right. From what I’ve lost to what I still have. From my circumstances to God’s goodness.
And joy starts to grow.
2. Scripture
Specifically, the Psalms.
The Psalms are raw and real. They’re full of people crying out to God in their unhappiness, their fear, their anger, and their doubt.
When I read the Psalms, I’m reminded that I’m not alone. That it’s okay to feel what I’m feeling. And that joy doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine — it means trusting God in the middle of the mess.
One of my go-to passages is Psalm 16:11:
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
When I feel far from joy, this verse reminds me where to find it — in God’s presence.
3. Worship
I’ll be honest — when I’m unhappy, worship is often the last thing I feel like doing.
But it’s also one of the most powerful things I can do.
There’s something about shifting my focus off of myself and onto God — His goodness, His power, His love — that re-centers my heart.
Sometimes that looks like singing along to worship music in my car. Other times, it’s just whispering, “God, You are good,” even when it’s hard to believe it.
But every time, it reminds me that my joy isn’t found in my circumstances. It’s found in who God is.
4. Community
When I’m struggling, my instinct is to isolate. To pull back and deal with it on my own.
But that’s the opposite of what I need.
God created us for community — for people who will pray for us, encourage us, and remind us of truth when we can’t see it for ourselves.
Sometimes joy comes not from what I’m feeling, but from what someone else speaks into my life.
5. Hope
Finally, joy is anchored in hope.
Not hope that my circumstances will change — though sometimes they do.
But hope that no matter what, God is with me. That He’s for me. That the story isn’t over.
As Paul writes in Romans 15:13:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Joy and hope are intertwined. When you hold onto hope, you’ll find joy right there with it.
So, when I’m unhappy, I don’t wait for joy to magically appear.
I grab onto the things that anchor me.
Gratitude. Scripture. Worship. Community. Hope.
And through those anchors, I’m reminded of the truth: Joy isn’t about what’s happening around me. It’s about what’s happening inside me.
It’s about staying connected to the One who is my joy — my anchor — no matter what storms may come.
Q&A: What Anchors You To Joy In The Middle of Unhappyness? was originally published in GoodLion Theology on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
