This question was sent in by a student during a Q&A session with the Good Fight Youth Group:
“I’ve been following Jesus for a while now, but I’m not happy. What do I do now?”
Let me start by saying — you’re not alone.
Not even close.
We’ve all been there. You follow Jesus, you do all the things you’re supposed to do, and yet there’s still this ache. This longing. Like something’s missing.
And then you wonder — what’s wrong with me? Or worse, what’s wrong with God?
Let me take you back to something I said during tonight’s sermon.
I compared happiness — your state of mind — to a boat.
When life is smooth sailing, when the water is calm, and the sun is shining, happiness is there. It feels good. Life makes sense.
But when the storm rolls in — and it always does — the boat starts to rock. And suddenly, happiness is gone, replaced by fear, anxiety, even despair.
And if happiness is your goal, your idol, your measure of success, you’ll find yourself constantly at the mercy of the waves.
But joy and hope? They’re different.
They’re like a lighthouse in the middle of the storm.
The lighthouse doesn’t calm the storm or stop the waves from crashing over you. But it changes you. It reminds you where home is. It keeps you anchored, steady, no matter how dark or wild the night gets.
Now, let’s talk about life — because rather than a smooth ride in a boat, life is more like a roller coaster.
Full of ups and downs.
Some days you’re climbing, full of excitement and anticipation. Other days, it’s a free fall — your stomach drops, and you feel like you’re spiraling out of control.
There will be moments of happiness — real, beautiful moments where everything feels right.
And there will be moments of sadness, loss, and heartbreak.
That’s life on this side of eternity.
The problem comes when we start chasing happiness as the ultimate goal.
Because happiness isn’t the point. It never was.
If happiness becomes the thing you’re living for, you’ll always be disappointed. Always chasing the next high, the next thrill, the next smooth patch of water.
But the goal isn’t happiness. It’s peace.
It’s hope.
It’s joy.
And those things — they’re not tied to your circumstances. They’re rooted in something deeper, something eternal. They come from knowing that no matter what happens, you are loved by the God who made you. That you’re not alone. That you’re not lost.
And that brings us to Jesus.
He never promised us happiness.
In fact, he was painfully honest about what this life would look like.
“In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33).
Jesus didn’t promise us a life without storms. But he did promise to be our lighthouse, our steady point of hope, guiding us home.
So what do you do now?
Here’s where I’d start:
- Be honest about the storm you’re in. It’s okay to admit you’re not okay. Bring it to Jesus. Bring it to someone you trust. Let yourself feel what you need to feel.
- Remember that happiness is temporary. It will come and go, like the tide. But joy — real joy — isn’t built on fleeting emotions. It’s built on a relationship with Jesus.
- Stop chasing happiness and start seeking wholeness. That’s what Jesus offers. Not a perfect life, but a healed one. A life where you’re deeply rooted in his love and grace, no matter what comes your way.
- Find ways to look to the lighthouse of Jesus. That might look like Scripture. Prayer. Worship. A friend who reminds you of truth when you can’t see it. Whatever keeps you steady, whatever points you back to God’s presence — lean into that.
- Embrace the roller coaster. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns you didn’t see coming. But the ride isn’t forever. And at the end of it all, the goal isn’t to have had the most fun or to have felt good all the time. The goal is to know Jesus. To become like him. To trust him with every part of the ride.
Here’s the thing: following Jesus isn’t about escaping the storms or avoiding the hard stuff. It’s about learning to live with peace in the middle of it.
It’s about holding onto hope when the waves are high and trusting that joy will find you, even in the darkest night.
So if you’re not happy, don’t panic. Don’t give up.
Lean into the lighthouse. Let it remind you who you are, where you’re going, and who’s guiding you home.
Youth Q&A: I am following Jesus, but I’m not happy? was originally published in GoodLion Theology on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
